Sometimes

Jason rolled over and stretched in the morning’s first light. A trace of a smile lingered on his face as he remembered the night before. He let the night play over in his mind as he curled against the warmth beside him.

*~*~*~*~*

“But WHY?” James fought the urge to stomp his foot. He couldn’t hold down the tantrum that was growing inside of him.

Jason sighed heavily. “I told you James, I just have to go. Please understand....”

“Why should I?”

“Because I’m asking you to!” Jason immediately regretted raising his voice when James turned his best impression of a pout on the bassist. “Sweetheart, you’re being unreasonable.”

“It’s unreasonable to want to spend time with the man I love on our anniversary?” James softened his voice to that growl that he knew drove Jason wild. He lumbered towards his lover, who was already by the door, and stared down into conflicted blue eyes. “Is that so terrible, Baby?”

“No, James... it’s not terrible, but... I’ll see you tonight, ok?” James crossed his arms. “There’s just something I have to do... but... you’re coming over later, right?”

James raised his eyebrow, and smoothed his hands over his pockets. Suddenly, his coy look was overshadowed by mild panic. James quickly patted his pockets, the intensity of their argument slipping away.

Jason misunderstood James’ expression. “Sweetheart, please say ok... you know I can’t leave you angry like this. I’ll... I’ll make it up to you somehow, ok? Like, a nice massage, or

“Wha? Right, fine... Jase, it’s fine.” James leaned down and gave Jason a quick peck on the lips. “I just remembered there’s something I need to do, too. I’ll see you tonight, ok?”

Jason nodded dumbly as James ushered him quickly out the door. Shutting it and slamming on the locks, James whirled around and let his eyes sweep over his living room.

“Oh, shit! Oh, shit!” James muttered to himself as threw couch cushions helter skelter. “How could I have lost it? It was right on my body! Right in my pocket! How could I have misplaced Jason’s anniversary gift?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jason stood on James’ porch for a moment longer, hand raised as if he might knock. Shaking his head, Jason turned and wandered dejectedly down the pathway to his car. He wished James wouldn’t get so upset with him; it was really a silly little thing, but Jason couldn’t tell James why he had to leave. Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled out two small jewelry boxes. After gazing at them for a moment, he closed his fist tightly and protectively around them. There were a few more details to see to for the evening.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*~*~* later in the day *~*~*

Practically skipping out of the Engraver’s shop, Jason hopped in his red sportscar and flipped on the radio.

“You tell me you're in love with me... That you can't take your pretty eyes away from me... It's not that I don't want to stay... But every time you come to close I move away...”

Leaning his head against the headrest, Jason sighed. “Perfect!” He had just found the missing ingredient. Tonight was going to be perfect... IF James actually showed up. Jason checked his watch. At that very moment, something was happening to ensure James wouldn’t be able to resist.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*~*~* James’ house *~*~*

James had just finished tearing the sheets off of his bed, and was about to move on to dismantling his dresser when the doorbell rang. Cursing beneath his breath, James ran down the steps. Yanking it open, he stopped short. Rather than being face to face with a human being, he found three dozen red roses under his nose.

“Sign here, please.”

“Wha....?”

“Sign... right here, sir.”

James signed the slip and tipped the delivery man before taking the gorgeous bouquet into his foyer. After admiring the beauty of the plush blooms for a moment, curiosity got the better of James and he searched for the card.

“I cannot wait to see you this evening... I’m counting the minutes. All my heart, Jason PS- Happy Anniversary.”

James pressed the card against his chest and exhaled happily. He loved the little things Jason did just to remind James that he was always on the bassist’s mind. Too soon though, the smiled turned to a frown as James remembered his interrupted task. He moaned unhappily: he had searched everywhere. It was no use.

*~*~*~*~*

Several hours later, James’ mood hadn’t much improved, although his appearance had. Now clad in a charcoal suit, James shuffled up to Jason’s door. Although James wanted to be in control of the evening, he had yielded dominance to Jason for this special night. Running his hand through his hair, James hoped beyond real hope that Jason would find a way to forgive him. The night was sure to be ruined all because of James’ carelessness.

His thoughts were interrupted when he reached the door. A note was taped to the dark wood. “James, Let yourself in. Lock the door behind you. ~J” James did as he was told, walking into a dimly lit room and turning the deadbolt behind him. When James turned back to face the room, he realized why it was so dim.

It was lit only by candles. As near as James could estimate, there were well over 300 white candles casting a low light. Beneath each bunch of wax and wicks were smaller gatherings of flowers reminiscent of the arrangement that had arrived at James’ door earlier in the day.

“Jason?” James voice sounded loud in the beautiful stillness of the room.

“I’m here, James.”

James let his eyes follow the soft voice, and found himself looking up the staircase at Jason. His eyes were glued to the man before him as Jason descended into the room, dressed in shades of blue to flatter his features.

When Jason crossed right to James, they shared a familiar smile.

“You look wonderful, Baby.”

“So do you. Do you want diner?”

James nodded and was led to the table. Below the towering candles and flowers was a very proper setting, and on their plates– steak and potatoes. James leaned over to kiss Jason. “My favorite.”

They ate in silence, staring at one another across the quiet table. When they were finished, Jason stood and went to a cabinet. He pulled out a slip of paper.

“My gift to you is sort of in parts, James.”

James winced. Time for gifts, and himself empty handed. He wanted to put off hurting Jason for as long as possible– the night was going so well.

James returned his attention to Jason, and nodded.

‘Well, I was going to try to write a poem... but I’m just not as good with words as you are, James.”

James snickered softly, and Jason blushed.

“Well, you know what I mean. _Writing_ words. But, sometimes you find the right thing to say in an unlikely source. So, I want to read to you the perfect words, that fell into my lap while I was thinking of you.”

James smiled fondly at Jason, and leaned back, waiting for the dramatic reading to begin.

“I wanna believe in everything that you say... Because it sounds so good... But if you really want me, move slow... There's things about me you just have to know. Sometimes I run... Sometimes I hide... Sometimes I'm scared of you... But all I really want is to hold you tight... Treat you right, be with you day and night.”

James smirked at Jason. “That sounds a little familiar....” James rose from his chair and crossed to his lover.

Jason drew circles in the carpet with his bare foot. Yeah, well, you should understand... I mean, sometimes a song... well, lyrics to a song, can just say things better than... oh, damn it, James. I’m not good at this either.”

James smiled brightly and lifted Jason’s chin. “You’re wonderful.”

“Well, not really. I mean, I can’t find the words... and...”

“No. I mean YOU. You, Jason, are wonderful. And I love you.”

Jason returned the smile, and blushed slightly. “Uhm, will you... dance with me?”

James nodded slowly. He watched Jason’s slim hips sway slightly as he crossed the room to the stereo. Flipping a single switch, an ironically sad yet poppy melody filled the room. James couldn’t help smiling wider. It was clear Jason had planned this all.

The sweet feminine voice floated around them as they swayed together. “I don't wanna be so shy, uh-uh. Every time that I'm alone I wonder why. Hope that you will wait for me. You'll see that you're the only one for me.”

James looked down into Jason’s deep blue eyes. Jason reacted to the sadness there. “I’m sorry I left earlier.”

James placed his fingers over Jason’s mouth. “Shhh, Baby, it’s ok. I understand now.”

“All I needed was some time, James... time to make sure everything was perfect.”

James nodded, feeling terrible for not understanding sooner. “Jason, I just get so selfish with you because... I... lo– well, I’m afraid of losing you.”

Jason nodded, but didn’t answer. There was something more James was trying to say.

“I seem to be good at losing things.”

James looked down and pulled away from Jason a little bit. Jason reached out and stroked James’ cheek. He didn’t know what to say... could this be about his family? Cliff? No, there would be no way James’ thoughts would be on anyone but him and Jason on this day.

Finally, James looked up, his eyes red-rimmed as if he might cry. “Jason, Baby, you went through so much to pull this together... and I just can’t do anything right. Please don’t hate me.”

“James, I could never hate you!”

“Don’t say that until you know what I’ve done.” James took a deep breath. “Jason, I lost your anniversary gift. I’m so sorry! I’ll find something better to give you! Something more expensive! Something–!”

“James, James! Wait, calm down! I have another surprise.”

James’ head dropped defeatedly. “More? Baby, please... don’t. I feel so terrible, and you just keep on giving.”

Jason took James’ large hand and led him over to the coffee table. James’ eyes followed the line of Jason’s arm as he reached down, grabbing a little pink bag with a bow.

“Tiffany’s???”

Jason nodded and handed the bag to James. He unwrapped the package slowly, deliberately reminding himself to breathe. Once the white bow was undone, James saw a familiar box. He pulled it out and found just what he had been so frantically searching for earlier in the day– the matching silver bands that he had bought for Jason and himself.

“Oh my– Jason, you found them!”

“Actually, I took them.” Jason smiled slyly.

“You what–? Why?” James tilted his head, confused. Jason only continued to smile.

“Look at the inside of the band.”

James did. The larger band had neatly engraved in it “In my heart for all of time ~JCN” James felt his breath catch in his throat as he gingerly took the smaller band out of the box. Sure enough, it was engraved as well: “Part of my soul as long as I breathe ~JAH” Those were the words that James had whispered to Jason late last night, while he held his lover. James believed Jason was asleep in his arms as he spoke the words that were on his mind and in his heart. But Jason had heard. James looked up disbelievingly, and Jason presented his finger to James, who understood immediately. James slipped the ring onto Jason’s hand, and then allowed Jason to do the same. Staring first at the matching bands, and then into the eyes of his lover, James found himself once again at a loss for words.

“You... Oh, Jase.” James paused to brush an auburn curl away from Jason’s forehead. He took a deep breath and continued. “You amaze me. Every time I think I couldn’t possibly love you more... you do something to surprise me.”

Jason’s eyes filled with tears. “_I_ surprise _you_? James Alan Hetfield, you amaze me. Each day, with your strength, with your talent, with...” Jason swallowed hard over the lump in his throat and let a tear spill silently down his cheek. He reached slender fingers out and laid them against James’ chest. “With your good heart.”

It was James’ turn to tear up with emotion. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to retain control. Jason stood on tiptoe, keeping his hand against James for balance. Then he pressed his entire body against his lover, and whispered against his cheek, “Let it go, James. I’m here.”

The quiet words pushed James over the edge. As he began to cry softly, he wrapped his arms tightly around Jason. Nearly whimpering, James begged, “You’re here now... please don’t ever leave.”

Jason kissed James with all the feeling he could muster. “Sweetheart, shh! It’s ok. It’s like the song says: Just hang around and you'll see... there's no where I'd rather be.”

James smiled through his drying tears. “Promise?”

Jason nodded and held up his hand. “It’s like you said last night. Words that will stay with me forever. Which is how long I’ll stand by your side.”

James took Jason’s hand and kissed it. “I thought ‘Sometimes’ was the song for the night?”

“Actually, James....” Jason moved his hand from James’ grasp to lay it on his cheek. “I was kinda thinking it could be OUR song. I mean, it just fits us so well. I think. But if you don’t....”

James silenced Jason with a kiss. “I think so, too, Jase. So, like the end of the song says...” James took a deep breath before quoting the words he had just danced to... the lines during which he had held Jason, stroked his lover’s back, and imagined this moment at the end of the night. “If you love me, trust in me... The way that I trust in you.”

“‘The way you trust...’ James, are you trying to tell me you love me?” The tears threatened to return to Jason’s eyes with the weight of this admission.

James nodded and smiled a small smile. “You’re not the only one who can use lyrics to say things better. But, yes, I do Jason. I love you very much.”

It was James’ turn to kiss Jason with all the passion in his large frame. When their lips parted, Jason was breathing heavily and grinning up at James. “Well, why don’t you take me to my room and prove it?”

Smirking, James scooped Jason up and carried him up the stairs. Sometimes all that’s needed is a little time to admit how you feel, and they were going to take their time exploring it all night. A beautiful night would end a wonderful day, and when James and Jason awoke in one another’s arms, they would smile fondly at the rings that bound them together. They smiled at the tangible expression of their love.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sometimes

You tell me you're in love with me
That you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
It's not that I don't want to stay
But Every time you come to close I move away
I wanna believe in everything that you say
Because it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know
Chorus :
Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time
I don't wanna be so shy, uh-uh
Every time that I'm alone I wonder why
Hope that you will wait for me
You'll see that you're the only one for me
I wanna believe in everything that you say
Because it sounds so good
but if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me, you just have to know
Sometimes I run (Sometimes)
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
All I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby, all I need is time
Just hang around and you'll see
There's no where I'd rather be
If you love me, trust in me
The way that I trust in you
Oh, yeah
Sometimes I run (Sometimes)
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight (hold you tight)
Treat you right, be with you day and night (day and night)
Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide (sometimes)
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night (day and night)
All I really want is to hold you tight
Be with you day and night