Only a Shadow

Your body’s warm, and here... which is such a shock I can’t believe I’m still breathing.

But I am, and I know that I am because not only am I breathing– I’m breathing hard. Panting really, and groaning out your name.

“Oh, god– Jase! More of that... Please!”

To my dismay, he pulls his lips off of me and stands up. He’s smirking and shaking his head and I would just scream– if I wasn’t sure I’d be doing plenty of that in just a moment.

His slender fingers reach out and twist themselves into my curls. Then he presses them against my cheek like a pillow, and tilts my chin. Jason’s smiling at me. I love it. It’s so rare– especially now– and it just makes me melt. He’s not the most classically handsome man... or the cutest little pixie... but that thin lipped southern boy charm holds such promises for me.

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

His smile falters and I want to cry out for it. “You know I can’t stay.”

“I know,” my response a whisper as I lean forward to meet those lips. “But you came. And you have no idea how much that means.”

I can feel the smile return, pressed against my mouth.

Jason slides his hand down my shoulder and takes my hand, leading me to the bed. He lays me down so gentle that I allow myself to forget that these are stolen moments. Sometimes I think that he’s all that I want, but those are usually the times when James and I are having vicious fights. He’s all I want, but not like this. Not sneaking around.

A heartbeat later, and he’s on his side looking down at me. So I let myself forget that there is a world outside of this room. Running my thumb over his lower lip, I silently ask him to take me.

His slow, sweet smile is the response that he knows exactly what I meant– and will happily oblige.

I spread my legs a little, inviting him on top of me. As he shifts to hover over me, Jason is murmuring all those little words of adoration that are normally missing from my love making. I can’t tell if I should believe what he says, but he’s saying it with such conviction.

“So beautiful... you always were, always will be... no matter what cage you think you’re in.” Jason licks and nibbles my neck, punctuating his statements. I can only tilt my head back and let him roam where he wants to. “You’re always free– our free spirit.”

Meeting his eyes, I kiss him softly.

He hooks my legs over his arms and positions himself at my entrance. “Ready for me, Kirk?”

“I don’t know any other way to be.”

In truth, all the kissing, licking, pinching and teasing we did earlier in the living room and kitchen have me so damn ready. Add to that the fact that a few minutes ago I was ready to shoot down his throat... yeah, I’m ready.

As he sinks down into me, I reach up and grab his shoulders. I pull his thin frame as close to me as possible, running my hands over his back. His head bows forward and rests on my shoulder. Now, it’s my turn to listen to him pant and groan my name.

“Fuck... Kirk... so good, man... “

I bite my lip and roll my head to the side. Fuck. For a thin man, he’s got a thick shaft. “Move in me, Jase... please... get me there?”

The smile has a tint of something more lusty as Jason takes up my plea. Rolling his hips, I feel myself fill and then protest when he pulls away. Stroking inside of me, Jason whispers my name repeatedly.

I sink my nails into his hips, just wanting to cling to him as he thrusts against my body.

The way his body pumps, I can watch his abs contract and relax, trying to gain some control. He’s not going to last much longer. I feel a little surge of confidence– if he’s this turned on just sucking on me and screwing me, that means it’s been awhile for him.

Almost like he was waiting for this night, looking forward to being with me.

I clench down on him as he tries to pull out. Jason groans a string of syllables akin to my name and some curses, and swells within me.

“Wish you were mine... “ I feel his warmth fill me and it makes me thicken between us. As his hand grips me, I watch him slide away and then start to stroke me off.

I try to anchor myself to the bed, but he’s pulling me so fast and hard I’m about to come out of my own skin. Instead, I come against his chest, arching my back.

He swipes his fingers through my seed, and licks them clean, smiling at me. I grin and shudder, and pull him closer.

Laying alone in the dark, we pass maybe a few minutes but more likely hours. His fingers play over my stomach as we hold one another and talk about all the trivial things we don’t get to share anymore.

Until I hear the keys in the door.

“Jase... “ My eyes are wide, but he’s in motion before I have to say anything else.

I turn in the bed and face the door just as it flies open. I hear James’ booming voice saying something like ‘hi, honey, I’m homely’ but I think it’s cut off. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jase pull on his pants and rush towards the door.

I jump out of bed to meet James, get wrapped up in his arms, and hopefully distract him from murder. But he doesn’t look angry– he looks terrified.

“Kirk! Get behind me! I think there’s a prowler in here!” He pushes me to the side, but I catch his arm.

I can force a calm into my voice. I have to.

“James, it’s only a shadow.” I manage to turn him to face me. Over his shoulder, I see Jason slip away into the night. Closing my eyes, I suppress my tears and –I hope– distract my boyfriend by looking quite appealing. “It’s only your shadow.”